Time to get a little in depth and examine one of the most confusing aspects of life as we know it. When and how is it acceptable in today’s society to approach a woman or man with sincere interest? Better yet, how do you meet a potential significant other post college? Ladies, believe it or not, these are conversations us guys have on a regular basis. I’m currently in one of those annoying group texts discussing the topic right now with six single men. I’m not sure if the so called dating scene has transformed from what it was once perceived as or if it is just another stage of growing up and seeing the difficulty of finding a soulmate for what it truly is.
Now, let’s investigate this topic a bit:
- Ladies, when you are out and wearing nothing but half of a napkin with a piece of a pillowcase as your outfit, we’re going to look. To this day I do not understand how women can get mad at guys for staring at what you show off. There’s a reason you put on that halter top, bando, and that pair of undies you got during the PINK sale, “just in case”. You want the attention, and when you get it, it’s “creepy or weird”. No. You wanted to look attractive, you just didn’t want THAT guy to find you attractive. Now you’ve embarrassed this poor guy in front of his friends because he mustered up the confidence to come try to dance with you and you laughed in his face.
- The lesson here:Just because we might give you a double or triple check, it’s a compliment. It’s credit being given to you for making yourself attractive which is EXACTLY what you wanted. I hear alot of women talk about how guys are “pigs” and only care about looks but when you shoot a completely personable guy down because he’s not attractive enough for you, you’re being a hypocrite.
- Next topic: Guys, don’t hover over a girl at the bar or dance floor when she has clearly refuted your every attempt to strike up a conversation. Whether or not I agree or disagree with a girls decision on how she perceives me based off my physique, I still know when to lay off. I’ve seen guys EARN the “creep” title plenty of times. There’s times where guys resemble a snarling slobbering bulldog just salivating as if that daughter of someone is a piece of meat, and it’s pathetic. There’s a way to approach women, and bluntly telling them that you’re going to take them home is going to earn you nothing more than a girl worthy of forcing a trip to “Go see the doctor” as Kool Moe Dee once demonstrated.
- The lesson here gentlemen: You cannot throw shade at ladies for being stuck up if you’re literally offering nothing more than your debit card to make up for your lack of personality or respect
- In college you are surrounded by nothing but men & women your age. Leaving college is a complete and utter culture shock in every aspect but most importantly when it comes to the people you encounter everyday. You go from seeing attractive men/women that you may have potential interest in, to your nursing home clients that are so amazingly sweet, but aren’t going to contribute to your happiness for the rest of your life. This arises the question for me in which I question how much more difficult you made it on yourself to find a partner. Now, I completely understand you don’t force something that just wasn’t working, or wasn’t there, but statistically it literally made the search harder right? I mean we all have an age, type, and style we’re looking for clearly. Where better to find that than in a college town where the majority of the population fits into that age range and you have less intruding “outliers’ (We’re going to call our parents generation the outliers here) interrupting that perfect timing to meet your prince charming or Cinderella?
- Today’s society is very unique in the way we view the most simplistic acts. There’s always another view taken on a subject, another perspective given (as I’m currently demonstrating), and someone waiting to knock you down instead of encouraging you. If I see an attractive woman at the local coffee shop and wanted to offer to buy her coffee as my opportunity to introduce myself and do a kind, genuine, gesture why would many females out there be taken aback? Why would so many of you wish that you had a girlfriend with you to avoid the conversation or instinctively jump into a lie of an “I have someone back at home” excuse to avoid simply meeting someone new that could potentially be all you were asking for?
- Yes, I know I just criticized guys buying girls drinks at the bar, and then talked about how women can’t accept a simple coffee. The answer is in that sentence. There’s a huge difference between a guy completely wasted trying to show off his wallet as opposed to a man having the confidence to approach a woman in a coffee shop and breaking out his crumpled dollar bills to pay for an 8 dollar Starbucks espresso that some women will somehow twist into us guys continuously being misogynistic.
- Back to the men. Let’s not be sexist and let’s flip the script. I want you to think very hard about this because it’s a serious problem. If a woman approached you the same way in a coffee shop with nothing more than showing interest in your looks and wanting to possibly get to know you, what is the first thing you’re doing? As soon as that woman walks away that phone is already out and a “Awe damn, This girl just wanted me so bad” text is going out to the boys and we all know it.
Those few scenarios are the most simplistic of cases we experience now days and that barely cracks the ice. Now days when infidelity is more common than loyalty what is one to expect? How can one truly expect to find true happiness with a significant other? At the end of the day the world can be a very ugly place. Men & women will forever have to deal with trust issues that were not brought upon themselves but rather insecurities brought upon from a previous relationship. Movies, television, and the media have created an unrealistic view of meeting “The One” that is just purely unattainable.
This brings us back to our original question how do you meet that perfect match? How do you approach that beautiful woman or man on the street without coming off as creepy? What if they could’ve been the one?
The answer is simple: there is no answer. Life is nothing more than risks, chances, and regrets. You may risk your heart approaching whom may be that special one, you may be taking a chance on a completely different lifestyle, but you know that you will never regret letting the opportunity pass you by.